


One Half

by TheNovelNightingale



Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Character Death, Depressing, Drabbles, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Loss, Major character death - Freeform, Pain, Post-War, Sad boi hours, Widowed, excerpt, i'm not kidding this isn't happy fun times, one shot for now, please read at your own risk, purge the tears
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-24
Updated: 2020-08-24
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:47:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26091379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheNovelNightingale/pseuds/TheNovelNightingale
Summary: The War was only that: one war. Life still goes on. The Shepard-Vakarians live in a recovering galaxy. There is no Shepard without Vakarian. Until there is.Widowed with two kids, Jane Shepard has to continue on her war of life alone. How will she go on without her soulmate?
Relationships: Female Shepard/Garrus Vakarian
Comments: 2
Kudos: 10





	One Half

**Author's Note:**

> This is simply an EXCERPT of a fic i've worked on on and off, not sure about making it a thing due to how difficult it has been to write, but let me know what you guys think.

She wanted him to come home. 

All she wanted was for him to come home, like he always did. 

His damned smile, she’d never see it again. Or his eyes, or his scars, or his markings, or his stance in front of the terminal when he was working. The extra swagger in his steps when he knew she was watching him. That ‘I told you so’ half-cocked smile or the one that he gave her when he thought she wasn’t aware of his presence just out of sight from the kitchen. How he’d watch her when she sang softly under her breath while cooking. He never told her to stop. 

She never thought anyone could ever love her. Years she spent giving her everything because she had no capacity to take. He gave her things she never dreamed of. She was broken, but he always held her together. 

Gone. 

Wasted. 

Alone. 

Whenever she cried he was always there. Whenever she felt lonely he appeared, magically, as if sensing it within himself. They were so connected and it felt so right. Her soul now ripped in half, tossed away to oblivion. She stared at the holos of them on her bed stand, too hurt to look but too desperate to look away. He was everything. He was perfection, and he didn’t deserve-

It wasn’t fair. _He_ _wanted_ this future. _He_ made all the plans. 

And now she was mad, mostly at herself. So she growled at the picture of him, 

“I don’t deserve to watch them grow up. You do.” The image blurred from the pooling tears, overflowing to rain down her face. 

With a sudden thought in her head she sat up and chucked the holo on the other side of the room, seconding the crash against the wall with a guttural “GodDAMNIT!” Her fist collided with the ground as she fell over, defeated by the weight settling in on her body. “Why couldn’t it have been me? Why couldn’t it have  _ fucking been me _ ?!” 

“Take me instead.” The words whispered to the carpet, words too little and far too late to bargain. “I’d give anything….” 

_ What did I do to deserve this? What did they do? Why did they have to be punished? _

No one heard her screaming, and no one came to hold her. 

The one who always did couldn’t anymore. 

**Author's Note:**

> Say it with me: AU AU AU AU AU AU AU


End file.
